A letter to the Last Day of the Year.

Hello, Last Day of the Year,

        Tomorrow is the symbolic 'Birthday' of the world. {Dramatic Pause for those of you who have never considered that thought before}  Everything else has 'birthdays'...Cats, Trees, Countries, People, so why doesn't the earth?... No, we don't know exactly when God created the earth, but, i wonder why we don't go into a new year as more of a symbol of creation and existence rather than some big celebration that's been far to commercialized. Maybe because then we would get to distracted and carried away with it, and start worshipping the day more than the Creator. But don't we already do that with Christmas...?
      Why do we celebrate the last day more than the first day? Why do we put more emphasis on the end of a year, than the beginning of the next one? Its like celebrating the last day of someone being 18, having a big party,  staying up really late, counting down the seconds until your no longer 18, whooping and cheering as you become 19 and then going to bed, sleeping in until unearthly hours, and moving on the next day as if nothing happened. Weird. When its our birthdays, and we go into a new year of life, we celebrate the day of. Why not do that for the day that the earth goes into a new year as well? Maybe you do, and I've just failed to ever have been a part of a group, or heard of a group that's done that.

Anyways, that escalated quickly.. let me start over.

Hello, Last Day of the Year,

     Some days i never thought you'd get here. Other days, i hung on for dear life as you zoomed by like a highspeed train whose engineer has a crazy taste for adrenaline. I can only be glad for what i have done this last year. I choose to regret nothing, for all the mistakes i made, taught me another way not to do things, not to say things. All those mistakes grew me into who i am. And for that i am forever grateful. God knows how to turn a terrible situation into something that will praise and honor Him.

This day, last year, i was working in Greece in the morning, and pulling taffy at night. I learned one thing that day. I hate taffy pulls....with a passion.  But i suppose you never know until you try. I pray that my friends here in Iraq don't have that same idea of fun.

In retrospect, i learned something else that day too, something i wouldn't realize until months down the road. Gods Plans always trumps Your Plans. I don't know what i was thinking, i really don't. I had zero set in stone plans for the next year, other than finishing my term in Greece (which ended the end of January). And only one small idea of what i would like to do, which i had been pursuing prior to Greece. After many interviews via phone and in person, i regretfully denied the position because of a little thing called 'unpeacefullness', even though it was, at the time, all i wanted. Or, should i say, all i thought i wanted.  Little did i know, that God was preparing and planning each step of the way. My spring job in Pennsylvania. My summer and fall job in Oregon. And my move into the Middle East.

True, there were lots of things that happened in between each of those steps. A lot of fantastic stories of random things along the way that led to millions of memories and potentially grand blog posts. Also, A lot of heartache in not knowing what was coming next, and days of waiting and waiting until what felt like last minute before anything was set in place, and even then, plans are always subject to change. Such is life.

     I've learned, its way easier to just trust God. I'm not one to take the easy route.... in fact, i tend to always do opposite and go around what everyone else is doing. But, with this, I'll take it every time. There is no sense in worrying about things you cannot change. And the things you do have the power to change, its only because God has given you that situation. He has set you in that place, with a mind to think, and a heart to know. He also intends for you to use that mind and heart and come to Him for guidance. Because your heart can lie to you, and your mind can be focused on the wrong thing. Weather my Dad verbally told me all that or not, over the years, I've learned it straight from his actions.

     I know the feeling of praying, seeking guidance, and seemingly receiving nothing in return. So where is the balance of waiting and waiting on God, and taking a step in faith?  Its something that we all face in our lives, at some point or another. And If you haven't experienced that and never do, i would love to stare at you with wide eyes and an exclaimed expression on my face, and learn your secrets. Also, I think that its something that one set answer doesn't do justice for. Based on situation, attitude, surrenderance.. and the list goes on. But, i also believe its not something that you can just go plop down on a therapist couch and receive a "How does it make you feel" answer out of it and expect however your 'feelings' to be your answer.

Sorry for that epistle. i could get way more carried away, but I'll leave the question with you.

Where is the balance between you taking a step in faith, and waiting on God?

And if your obstinate and argue there is no balance. Then, i ask you, What are you really truly waiting on?... and that goes for either side of the spectrum, weather you say you should always take a step in faith, or you should always wait on God.


Now, lets take this letter and rear it into a different direction.

New Years Resolutions.

I am aware that 50% of the culture i was raised in wants nothing to do with resolutions in regards to the idea that they are, "A waste of time," or "A lie to yourself"... Hmmm.

Also, aware that the other 50%, {mainly young children in the age bracket of 9-17} take hold of this time and declare, up and down, "This year i AM going to do this!" ... Hmmm.

Lets begin with this. If your goal is unrealistic, your results will be unrealistic.

Run 3 miles every day. unrealistic. UNLESS your have already been running 3 miles everyday for the past month, and have the mindset engrained into you already.
Its not the 3 miles that make it unrealistic, its the everyday part. Unless of course, your like me, and are determined to do something that much more simply because someone says you can't. In that case, every ounce of me believes you will be running, 3 miles, every day. And when you miss one day, because "You will make up for it tomorrow" or "You ran 6 miles yesterday," You've already proved your resolution wrong, therefore sending a little message to your brain saying, "Its a waste of time..."

     I'm convinced this is why the older generation doesn't buy into the resolution thing as fast as the younger ones. We start of with such great ambition, and the more we fail, the more we decide, 'it was stupid to begin with', just to make ourselves feel better.
I commend those who make resolutions and stick to them. That is incredible self discipline, unless, of course, your resolution was to eat a piece of chocolate cake every day.

Which leads me to thing number two:

     If your resolution is a worthy cause, I'm all for it, and you should be too.

Something like eating cake every day doesn't seem very beneficial towards you, or anyone else. So maybe the problem isn't making resolutions and sticking to them... maybe its choosing wisely what is a priority and accomplishing that. Full heartily. No backsies.

If getting in shape is your priority, don't let a failed promise of 'everyday' set you back.

But remember, if your priority isn't God-centered, don't let it become a distraction to what is.

I, personally, wish i would have set more goals for this last year. Not saying i would have accomplished them, but its fun to look back and think, "Wow, i actually thought i was going to do that", {deep belly laugh}. Or, "Wow, i can't believe i actually accomplished that" {air high five}

Things I'd like to do in this next year:
-Learn Guitar Chords
-Get a good grip on the Kurmanji language
-Discover an effective way to keep kids entertained for longer than 10 seconds without the help of media devices.

God-Centered? No, not fully. I have a lot of ulterior motives behind some of those. So when does a fairly good goal go from good to bad. Priority, time management, and motive have a lot to do with that.
Goals are great, grand even. But when they distract you from the True Goal, then there you have it. Its time to back off, and re-evaluate.


….and that all sorta veered off track of where my original thought was going too. Third times a charm.


Hello, Last Day of the Year:
    Somedays I thought you'd never get here. But I'm glad you did. Not that I didn't like this last year, but I'm excited to see what this next one holds.
Until then, -Your Ellie Friend.